I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner, BUT I’m happy to announce that I’ve solved the country’s most pressing issue!
You’re welcome, America.
There have been ongoing debates about what a woman is, what a man is, who can give birth, and who can’t have an opinion on abortion for a few years now. There was even a documentary released recently called “What Is A Woman?” that I’m sure you’ve all heard of by now. The movie follows the chronicling journey of Matt Walsh on his noble quest to answer what is an apparently very difficult question.
But most recently, I found myself on the frontlines of debate, the battlefield of ideology, the war zone of concepts, in a conversation on Twitter with someone who told me that men can give birth.
I felt that the world had been turned upside-down and inside-out. With nowhere to run, I had to do it, I knew it would be labeled extremist, transphobic, and all the rest, but I just had to know the truth. So I did, what apparently no one else has dared to do…
I Googled it.
I know… I know… groundbreaking stuff happening here. But it actually seems like a very simple solution to this problem. Why don’t we just look at definitions?
The dictionary definition of a man, as it’s defined by Oxford and Google is “an adult male human being”
So I thought I’d break this down word by word for everyone — doing a little something called “investigative journalism” and it seems I have a knack for it. So we begin:
Adult – a person who is fully grown or developed.
Sweet. Next big word.
Okay, this is where definition becomes paramount.
Male – of or denoting the sex that produces small, typically motile gametes, especially spermatozoa, with which a female may be fertilized or inseminated to produce offspring.
Very good, Google’s definition of a male seems pretty spot on.
Let’s take a look at Merriam-Webster:
Now that we have that sorted out, now we can try to establish a concrete definition for female:
Incredible. Now, the question I know you have all been waiting for…
What is a woman?
Uncanny.
Although, I think it is a bit misogynistic that the example sentence used refers to thousands of women being laid off from work. Women are just as capable as men. Actually, much more capable — given the fact that men can’t give birth.
So anyway, I feels like that solves it? This all seems pretty cut and dry.
I know this feels all too simple, but seriously, if we’re going to live in a functioning society, we need to be able to rely on a shared definition of a word.
